Christmas 2025

Dear Ones!

A little existential crisis left me in a mode of low level panic for quite a bit of the fall. I fell for a scam, my house was burgled by a worker I trusted, my energy level fell off dramatically, sleep was elusive and I began doubting my competency and ability to live by myself in Belize. I had no energy and had to force myself out of bed. Fortunately my weeks of being in a soul searching fog passed, Rebecca gave me a pep talk, and I began to take stock of what I needed to do differently in order to reach a level of equanimity. I need to reinvent myself ……again……as someone who tires more easily and does not trust as readily. As much as I love my students and tutoring reading I cannot do it 5 days a week from 8:30 – 3:30. I know that, but haven’t figured out how to cut back without slowing my students progress.

Rebecca, 52, Senior Mechanical Systems Engineer and Structural Dynamics Analyst for the James Webb Space Telescope and currently the Roman Space Telescope for NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, has unique expertise and skills to get satellites into space. Decades of work propelling science into heretofore unknown worlds has been compromised by DOGE, on the whim of a multibillionaire who was not elected and who has a vested interest in his own competing space business. Rebecca and hundreds of other world class engineers and scientists are being fired and their universe shattering work discontinued, wasting billions of dollars of scientific instruments, satellites and brainpower. Alexandra, 20, an electrician by trade, is finding perfect peace and contentment soldering and building up advanced Printed Circuit Boards (PCBs) for a small electronics company. Rebecca and Alex welcome me for most of the holidays when I don’t want to be alone in Belize….Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother’s Day are all joyfully spent with them and Paul’s sisters, Judy and Marilyn.

Alejandro Jonathan, 51, and Guillermo have had a mixed bag year. Flying for United gives him an income and discretionary time to do a great deal of what he wants to do…..play volleyball, volunteer at Yahweh Mission for Homeless Women and provide flute accompaniment to a choir. The downside is the house we bought Dec 29, 2024. After $70,000, two years of remodeling and rebuilding they are still not moved in. The realtor, bank appraisal and supposed inspections were criminal in how fraudulent they were! Hopefully, all will be ready for occupancy by Mar 1. Other than the constant house stress …… life is good and is about to be much better! Alejandro is my partner in all things Belize. He cheerfully obtains donations and helps me purchase and ship the volumes of school and art supplies I transfer on a regular basis.

Matthew, 49, is moving up in seniority with Kalitta Air Cargo. His photos and posts from his international jet setting are funny and illuminating. He continues to be a backbone and mission coordinator for Summit County Rescue Group. Get lost or stranded and he will find you! He is my financial rock and I rely on him more and more to look over my shoulder and explain the vagaries of the stock market and my retirement account. Becky, pharmacist at the hospital, holds down the fort while he travels and ferries Caroline and Emelia, 8, to piano, soccer, ski team (They both did admirably on their first slalom race), dance, 4 H, Lego club, birthday parties…Together they are the most wonderful parents any kids could have.

Ruben, 49, still works at Mtn Lyon Cafe after 31 years! He does an amazing job managing the properties Paul and I acquired and making sure my income remains steady and our renters are happy. Being of Mexican heritage, he is the most affected by the onerous, barbaric activities of ICE. Their smash and grab tactics affects him and his coworkers, both with green cards and not, both citizens and not. They are indiscriminate, judging only whether one is white or brown. On the upside, Cassandra, 21, and Dillon have decided after 6 years of dating to get married. They have planned a major celebration for Sept 13, 2026.

Rachel, 47, and Kellie teach sociology at College of Southern Nevada. Getting their students to think critically is challenging. They are successfully making the painful adjustment to having Derek, 20, away at Redlands University in California. Derek loves being a resident advisor and pursuing his varied academic interests. An avowed vegan, one of his many passions is animal rights, which he will ultimately pursue in graduate school. Andrew, 14, plays soccer, likes the freedom of homeschool to pursue specific interests, particularly art, design and on line games with Derek and friends. Rachel and I talk the longest on the phone, discussing political, emotional and philosophical issues. Her struggle over the years to make sense of her relinquishment by her birth mother are akin to my struggle to make sense of Paul’s death. Both make us very sensitive to grief and loss.

Robert,47, ran away from his residential facility after Paul’s funeral in 2017 and his whereabouts were unknown for several years. We finally reconnected and now, after several years of contact with Robert, the State of Washington mental health system has moved him. Due to HIPPA confidentiality rules social services can’t tell us where he is. He has to ask for us and since he has little cognitive functioning the likelihood of that happening is remote.

James, 48, is homeless despite serving successfully as a cook full time at Mtn. Prime, an upscale restaurant in Idaho Springs. 28 years ago he went to prison, served ten years and was released. Most apartment applications ask, “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” He checks the box “Yes” and is denied housing. He is law abiding, has a good job, makes adequate money and has to live in his car. Turns out he is serving a life sentence for something he did when he was 18!

Jesse, 46, after being homeless for years, is living in a rent subsidized apartment and working to stay clean and sober. It is a hard life. Amber is incommunicado.

Me. 76. Still kicking it! Enjoying life in Belize, Colorado and on the road wherever the whim takes me. Love teaching reading and art, having visitors, swimming, walking and kayaking in Hopkins. Even went Crocodile tagging! Through Rotary, I wrote and completed a grant to refurbish and upgrade a school kitchen in Dangriga, Belize. Doing a second kitchen in Silk Grass in 2026. Raised funds for high school tuition for 10 students. Also…through Rotary… the 200,000th free meal was served at the Community Dinner in Sioverthorne! Made the papers, The Denver Post, The Rotarian Magazine. I returned to Summit County for the festivities! July was a family reunion in Bethany Beach DE where we had a celebration of life for my niece Katie, who died the previous November after a long illness. Silverthorne for the rest of the summer was the center for all things Caroline and Emelia…..art, biking, piano….. When not with the twins I was out and about with friends….the best friends anyone can have. Our project for the summer was touring senior living arrangements in Denver to plan for a more dependent future. Lots of options out there.

The first big trip was a two week cruise around Japan with Bethany, a dear friend. Meeting later in life we discovered we both lived in Japan as little girls. Both of our fathers were part of the post WWII occupation of Japan to keep it from arming and transforming their government from a monarchy to a democracy. (Talk about meddling!). We decided to visit our childhood home and were awe inspired by the our memories and the transformation. Hundreds of photos later I want to share two:

Visiting the Great Buddha in Kamakura at age 10 and again at age 76.

Left Japan and went to Bali, Indonesia for two weeks with G Adventures. Great trip, great guide and a group that formed into a fast friendship. 6 of the women were friends from England and I am going to visit them in May for a few weeks. Took a batik class!. Despite the amazing sites, food and sounds, I decided I will probably not travel in a Muslim country again. Seeing the women and little girls in their long dresses and drab scarves, pinching their faces, hampering their freedom day after day was too depressing for me.

The other remarkable fact about this travel group of 14, other than our rapid friendship, was that 6 of us were on a GLP, the weight loss injection! I gained 30 lbs after Paul died, mostly from the bottle of wine I was drinking every night. Once I got through that numbing phase of grief I had a big problem and the weight made it harder to walk and exercise. I was tired of my weight being a moral issue of poor self control and lack of will power. There was no off switch in my brain to stop eating! Telling me to eat less was like sending a diabetic to her room and telling her to stay there until she makes more insulin. My doctor looked at all of the inflammation in my joints and the weight and, since Ozempic was outrageously expensive, I decided to try Retatrutide. It turns out the GLP’s are good for heart function, serve as an anti inflammatory and decrease appetite. I have lost almost 40 lbs and am holding steady. My legs don’t hurt when I walk or shake at night. It is costing me $150 a month and I am saving that much in groceries! Win win for me.

Jesse was commenting to me about how confused he is by the news, leaving him in the dark about what to believe. I told him it doesn’t really matter much to me. What I think and believe is irrelevant as it is all outside of my sphere of influence. Agents of the government of the United States are acting, often illegally, with incredible stupidity and cruelty across the spectrum and I am powerless. I find that if I concentrate closer to home on what I can do to make a difference…..that is empowering for me. Going back to the John Wesley quote and my mantra:

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”

I can spin around and anguish about all the shit going on in the world or I can breathe, reach out to the person nearest me and do something, anything, kind. Right now I am pretty much divorced from American politics while sitting next to a little boy in Belize, teaching him to read. I can’t do a lot, but I can do a little…over and over again.

Do what you can with what you have wherever you are.” Theodore Roosevelt

My heart goes out to all of you and hope 2026 is a year of joy for you and yours!
Deb”

I want to conclude with a poem I wrote about 10 years ago.

Every Child

Every child needs a mother like Mary.
Every boy needs the love she gives.
Every girl needs a mother like Mary,
Be surrounded with love each day she lives
Jesus wasn’t Jesus until he grew up,A baby like any other.
He grew up to be kind and loving from the shower of love from his mother
Every child needs to feel the love he felt,
With deep, calm breaths filling his days.
Know he’s safe and cherished like Jesus,
Trusting kindness will rule all of his ways.
Jesus was washed, clothed, fed, hugged, sung to, rocked and kissed at night
Gently he was taught to share and pray, Learning what was wrong and right.
No shouting, no hitting, no hunger, no pain.
If Jesus can grow up to be loving any child can.

The way Mary looked at Jesus was the way Jesus looked at the world.
The way Mary talked to Jesus was the way Jesus talked to the world.
The way Mary fed Jesus was the way Jesus fed the world.
The way Mary touched Jesus was the way Jesus touched the world.
The way Mary healed Jesus was the way Jesus healed the world.
Every child raised as a Child of God can be a Prince of Peace.

Deb Hage
2015