For most people this was 2024. For me, it was AD 7 as 2017 is when time stopped and restarted. 7 plus years. Paul is gone, but not really. He is forever present in the lives of his children and grandchildren. What a legacy he left. Oh, they all have his smarts, his ability to fix things, organize, put right, create order out of chaos…..His sense of humor, optimism, ability to find the light in dark passages. However, above and around all of that, Paul was kind, thoughtful, caring. That is what I see in my children and grandchildren, that part of Paul present in their every breath. His kindness. Never a mean, sarcastic word. Never a joke at someone else’s expense. Never critical or demeaning. The amazing nonjudgmental, unconditional, accepting love my children have for their spouses and others. I see that in my children and grandchildren. I look at my children and marvel at the presence of Paul in every fiber of their being. Spending time with them is spending time with a part of Paul that lives on and on.
Rebecca, now 51!, still revels in the astounding success of the James Webb Space Telescope while pushing through the creation of the next generation telescope, Grace Roman. Her work-life balance is finely tuned, spending time with friends rock climbing, hunting, informal dinner get togethers, visiting me in Belize and enjoying the company of Alex, 19. Alex graduates Spring ’25 with an Associate degree in Specialized Electrical Technology with the intention of building control panels for innovative systems. She has a passion for caving and is wonderfully easy to engage in spirited conversation, always looking for creative outlets for her skills.
Jonathan Alejandro, 50!, loves being a flight attendant at United, but his true passion is the thrift store at a mission for homeless women and children. He and Guillermo had a scare when Gillie’s diabetes spun out of control on a quick trip to Paris. United had to divert the flight home to Bangor to rush him to the hospital. All is well now. However, the house they bought with such fanfare the end of 2023 has been a nightmare. They still have not moved in. They went to fix the roof and the house was not level. They leveled the house and the ceiling caved in and the plumbing cracked. They fixed the plumbing and the water pressure dropped. One thing after another. The movie Money Pit is no longer funny! Fortunately, Jon has playing flute at Mass and volleyball in the evening to divert his attention.
Matthew’s (49) life is never dull! Between flying huge planes delivering toiletries to tanks from Pittsburgh to Poland and raising Caroline and Emelia with Becky, life goes full tilt. He still makes sure he does his duty by Summit County Search and Rescue. There will always be people who miscalculate the Rocky Mountains and find themselves stranded in the dark with a concussion. SCRG always comes through for them. Becky is a full time pharmacist and full time mom, tutor, Brownie leader, chauffeur and laundress! Emelia, 7, is all bright sparkly dancer and athlete. Caroline, 7, runs and runs, laughs and laughs, then runs and runs some more. Creative, happy, helpful, amazing testaments to the wonderfulness of their parents. In spring, the family visited me in Belize. The fall found us biking to school along the River, bathed in light and color.
Ruben, 48, heading up the line at Mtn Lyon Cafe, lifts weights regularly. His circle of friends know If they ask Ruben for help, like his father, he will do it. As my property manager he is invaluable. A dry alcoholic for 15 years he is quick to support others working to get sober. Cassie, 20, proposed to Dillon (20), after several years together, with an amazing scavenger hunt through Summit County culminating in a ring. So fun! They both attend Colorado Mountain College, she to become a forensic pathologist and he to become a social worker and counselor. She erupts in creativity and I enjoy the anticipation of some sculpture or painting. Sadly, they kissed Diezel, 10, goodbye and happily, welcomed Nutmeg.
Rachel, 46, and Kellie, continue to teach sociology. They wonder about the future as fewer students are pursuing higher education. Nonetheless, they are determined to pass on critical thinking skills to their students in entertaining ways. Derek, 19, a full ride student at Redlands College, California, is not sure exactly what his major will be, just knows that, like his grandfather, it will be focused on seeking justice. An engaging conversationalist, he enjoys discussing justice issues as much as I do! Andrew, 13, is non-stop. Creative, painting, drawing, building, writing, his brain whirs in all directions.
Robert, 47, continues in assisted living in Everett, WA. He is well taken care of and content.
James, 47, Jesse, 45 and Amber, 43 are in Denver, managing their lives, distant from me, as best they can. I reach out occasionally but they do not reciprocate.
I look at my children and grandchildren and see Paul lives still. Only part of Paul died 7 years ago. The greater part of his heart and spirit live on in the lives my children and grandchildren are living.
My life is also full. January to May I was in Belize. Wrote a Rotary grant to redo, upgrade and equip the school kitchen at Epworth Elementary in Dangriga. Welcomed visitors, taught reading, art, sewing, crafts and ran a small library. I love my students. So eager! The high point was painting a wall of my classroom. In art we worked on various design and color elements then turned the older students loose to paint my building. Wow! The International Peace Wall of Hopkins, Belize emerged. Wonderful designs interspersed with “May peace prevail on earth” in a dozen languages. Spanish, Garifuna, Mopan, French. The proprietor of the local market wrote in Chinese. A Muslim bicycled 80 miles from The Islamic Center in Belize City to write in Arabic. (I got the paint by driving around town and asking businesses and homeowners with brightly painted buildings for a yogurt container of paint. Beautiful colors were donated.)
Summer I returned to Summit County where the Rotary Community Dinner is about to serve its 200,000th free meal! We cleaned the Paul Hage Family 2 mile stretch of highway for the 30th year! Had family Friday night dinners at The Elks Lodge. Spent wonderful hours hiking, painting and playing with Caroline and Emelia then took the family for a reunion in Gatlinburg, TN. Dollywood, Hatfield/MCoy dinner theatre, hiking in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Swimming. We had a great time. Raised $10,000 through friends, relatives and Rotary to provide high school and college tuition for 10 Belizean students. I participated in a Rotary volunteer week in Bocas del Toro, Panamá. Impulsively went to Thailand and Taipei for two weeks. I thought I would try traveling on a tour by myself. Loved Thailand but don’t need to travel without friends or family again. Returned to Hopkins October 20, greeted guests and resumed teaching. Thanksgiving was spent with Reb and Alex in Silver Spring , MD. We made the turkey feast, packed it up, drove to Baltimore to share it with Paul’s sister, Judy and Marilyn at John Hopkins Hospital where Katie, Marilyn’s daughter with muscular dystrophy, was having a trach put in to assist her breathing. We were so glad to gather as Katie died a few days later. A wonderful bright spirit left us. Christmas we gathered in Las Vegas to see Cirque du Soleil, KA, hike, swim and hangout. I love our new Christmasless Christmas tradition! A year of family, friends, more family!
Caroline and Emelia occasionally come running to me with some tattletale of woe regarding the other. I will attempt to settle the matter but one will say, “But that’s not fair!” They are used to my reply. “Right, it is not fair. Life is not fair and you don’t want it to be. If life were fair you would have a great deal less and some other child might have a little more. If life were fair your school would be similar to most schools around the world. Fewer books and supplies, no computers. If life were fair you would have less access to a dentist or a doctor when you get sick but another child’s life might be saved. If life were fair you might have less to eat while others have more. You are right! Life is not fair and it is not fair in your favor! So be generous whenever you can. Give others a portion of what sets you up so prettily. Sharing of all that you have will make little difference to you but could create a world of difference to someone else and would go a long way in creating the fairness you appear to want.
All is well! Life is good. Full of activities, conversation, thoughtfulness, purpose and travel ….. but feeling very leisurely. I am making life up as I go along and am often surprised at how good the results are! People are incredibly grateful when I make the effort to be helpful, useful, kind. Even if my efforts are inadequate!
Love to you all,
Deb
For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you are not, I hope you have the strength to start over again.
– F. Scott
